On March 20th I wrote this blog.
It was the first day of spring, the day I was sprung.
I’m no more a spring pup
It's another birthday that's come up
Another year older, another age saying ‘sup?
“How old would you be if you didn't know how old you were?” ~Satchel Paige
Every
day I take info from customers. Several times a day I have to ask for
names, and birth day, month, and year. This always leads to casual
chit-chat that makes it easier to talk to them as it turns back to
business.
1985. “Really? That’s the year I graduated high
school. It’s clear 2 great things came into the world in ‘85; me out of
high school, and you out of your mother. It was a good year for all.”
They always laugh when I say that. I’ve said it a hundred times to a
hundred different young folks so I’m bored hearing myself say it, but it
always gets a chuckle out of them.
1987. “Oh yeah? That’s
when I moved to Florida when I was 20. Hard to believe it’s been so
long.” They always laugh. It doesn’t seem funny at first, but somehow it
nearly always helps to break the ice.
1988. “Oh yeah? Wow, that’s when I went to college. Hard to believe so many years have passed.”
1990.
“Isn’t that something? That’s the year I graduated college. I’d say
that either makes me very old or you very young. But I don’t feel old so
that means you must be very young.”
“Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.” ~Leroy "Satchel" Paige
It’s
true; I don’t feel old. I don’t have the body of a 20 year old anymore,
but I don’t feel like a 45 year old either. Then again, age is only a
factor of the mind. We are only as old as we let ourselves feel. I sure
don’t have the same body I had when I was in my 20’s, but as I look at
the world through my eyes, I don’t “feel” my age. I don’t think like a
45 year old. Rather, I don’t think like I always thought a 45 year old
would be thinking.
I must be in denial, because it really
is difficult to believe that I’m 45. When I was younger, in my teens, in
my 20’s, even in my early 30’s, I always thought of the 40-years as
old. Not old in a gray hair and walking with a cane type of old, but old
in that you’d have to be serious all the time, that you had to act and
think a certain way, that you couldn’t goof off, that you couldn’t enjoy
the things you did when you were younger. But here I am about to turn
45 and I sure don’t think like a “45 year old”. This is not the way, on a
mental and emotional state of mind, I thought 40+ would feel like.
I’m a Toys ‘r Us kid and I don’t wanna grow up.
My
mother had an aunt, my great-aunt now gone, who was still going out
dancing into her eighties. Mind you, I’m not talking about partying in
South Beach nightclubs till 4AM, but she was still out in clubs dancing,
defying all expectations of how an 80+ year old was limited to
behaving.
“Look I so old to young eyes? When 900 years old you reach, look as good you will not!” ~Yoda
I
know a woman who turned 50 last year—she sure doesn’t look it. She was
still into the music scene, hanging out in South Beach clubs, dancing
and living it up, friends with many in their late 20’s and early to
middle 30’s whom I too have felt younger hanging out with in the years
passed. When she turned 50—I have to add, she’s a fox—she went dirt-bike
riding, among other new and exciting things; she even went sky-diving
for the first time in her life! She was living it up, not accepting or
allowing her age to stop or slow her. She was more energetic and living a
more dynamic life than many I’ve known, including me, in their twenties
and thirties! I’m not sure if those were things she had on her Bucket
List, or just things she chose to enjoy on impulse, but she has been
living a state of mind to be envied, of which I’ve told her some time
ago.
“Be on the alert to recognize your prime at whatever time of your life it may occur.” ~Muriel Spark
I
live about a half hour north of Miami. I have had a lot of people I’m
friendly with down there who are into the music scene, the nightclubs,
the night life. Some are DJs who play the clubs; more are into the music
and dance scene. They were people in their late 20’s when I first met
them, early to middle 30’s now; some in their late 30’s, a few even my
age and slightly over. I made their acquaintances via a nightlife
message board I had gotten involved with, and the first time meeting all
of them was a great experience each time. Many of those are mutual
friends of the 50’s fox mentioned above. When I started hanging out down
there in my late 30’s I was out of my element. I’ve been to many clubs
in my early 20s, rock clubs, bars, some dance clubs though not often of
those, but it had been a long time for me. Tony Manero I am not, nor
have ever been! I wound up hanging out in those clubs in South Beach a
lot, often till the late hours of the early morning, sometimes not
coming home till the sunrise. To be honest, hanging out with those late
20’s early 30’s friends in that scene, I felt young again. I felt alive,
energized. Yeah, I was out of my element, and I loved where I was.
“Man,
you were looking good, chatting it up with people who wanted to meet
you (from the message board), getting tipsy, even dancing with three
different women (from the message board)…I don’t believe you were out of
your element at all—you fit in perfectly.” ~a comment from one of my
(message board) friends one day after my meeting several new people
(from the message board) at a particular club event in a club called,
interestingly enough, "Shine". That same friend made note of my past
comments that I don’t dance, nor know how to dance, nor feel comfortable
dancing, but he saw me dancing with three different women (from the
message board). Wow, how drunk had they gotten me to get me out on the
floor???
I’ve been away from there for a long time;
haven’t been down there in at least 3 years if not more. I miss it, but
I’ve been very busy—didn’t have a car for a while…a very long while;
didn’t have money for a while, a long while, etc. Plus other reasons.
Excuses. No, in some cases legitimate reasons. And some excuses. But
being in that scene, out of my element, I felt young again. No, I was
young again. I still am, from a certain point of view, I just don’t look
it.
Do you know where I am very much in my element? At
Star Wars conventions. I’ve had such a blast at those events. Star Wars
definitely brings out the kid in many, and there, I was young again.
God, I can’t wait to go back. I sure hope I can make it back to Orlando
in August 2012 for Star Wars: Celebration VI.
So now I am 45. I need reminders of how young I still am. And this blog, this is the beginning of the journey back.
“Nobody
grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting
our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm
wrinkles the soul.” ~Samuel Ullman
“A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.” ~John Barrymore
Unfortunately,
that’s where I am today. It’s something I have to work on, but God
knows it’s not easy. Don’t let my inspiring blogs fool you. It’s not
easy for me, not at all.
“You are as young
as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence,
as old as your fear; as young as your hope, as old as your despair.”
~Douglas MacArthur
“Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.” ~Chili Davis
“All children are artists. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.” ~Pablo Picasso
“My Lego city was an explosion of childhood creativity, firing out with passion in my adult years.” ~inSpireShine
That’s
what I need, I need more passion in my life. And enthusiasm. And
inspiration. And motivation. And sushi. Yeah, a lot more sushi. Have I
ever mentioned how much I love sushi?
And one final quote merely for kicks and giggles:
“Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother.” ~G. Norman Collie
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